Basic Bondage
by Master Tatu Bondage for pleasure purposes to some seems like it is something deviant. Well let's talk about that for a moment. When one uses the term "deviant", the implication is that one "deviates from the norm". First that is not a bad thing. Only fundamentalists, religious zealots, and social engineers with an agenda believe "sameness" is the desired behavior of all and feel it is their duty to make everyone the same. Bondage for pleasure has been around forever. If we use sameness as the model of non-deviant behavior, then today, missionary sex would probably fall into the category of deviant sexuality. The Psychiatric and Psychological Communities have long recognized that alternative sexuality is not wrong of dangerous as they removed consensual S&M and Bondage from their diagnostic manuals about 40 years ago, about the same time they removed Homosexuality as a mental disorder. Those who study sexual behaviors, tell us that just about everyone fantasizes about bondage. So for whatever reason we do it, it is probably some built in desire that God put there. It is a popular theme in the arts. You can't turn on your TV without viewing some bondage on some TV show... handcuffs, blindfolds, some hero or heroine will bet tied up, usually with rope, maybe a silk scarf gag thrown in for effect. Turn on MTV or VH1, and if you watch a few videos again you will see the bondage theme being played out. Statistics also say that over half of the adult population has tried some bedroom bondage, and about 1/4 of all American Adults practice some form of bondage regularly although few will admit it.. Why? Why do so many enjoy bondage? Because it is so fun and exciting? Because it takes time to do. If there is one thing women scream for from their man is foreplay, and bondage takes alot of time to do and undo. Women crave the attention it makes men give them. The automatic assumption of some is that those who are like bondage, like it because they suffered some kind of abuse when they were children. Sounds good, and that might even be true in some cases, but there is absolutely no empirical evidence or data whatsoever from any study that shows this as factual. The practice of bondage is no larger among abuse survivors than in the general population at large. Then there are those who see this whole fantasy role play thing as people with basic emotion problem, no self worth, no self esteem. They therefore, using good old western thinking of deductive logic, assume people who do bondage or want to do fantasy role play as a captive, submissive or slave, are people with deep seated emotional issues. What we do know that the desire to power exchange is as natural as can be. Some like to control, others like to give up control and be controlled. Notice I said give up control.. this is a consensual play activity. Therapists have been using role play for decades as a tool to develop a more healthier you. Society demands sameness. We buy a home and we have 3 models and 4 colors to pick from. We let our grass grow too tall and in some places you will get a ticket. Plant a bush not in keeping with the neighborhood condominium rules and get fined. We work hard giving or following orders, and at the end of the day we want to let go. Psychiatrists and Psychologists tell us that it is emotionally healthy for us.
You may ask, why do I like or feel I want to participate in consensual bondage? Who knows? Who cares, as long as it is consensual and does not involve the children. It is nobodies business what adults do in their adult space behind locked adult doors. It feels good. So if it doesn't hurt anybody, and it is a positive thing for those involved, so what? It takes alot of time, love, effort, to do consensual bedroom bondage. If anything bondage improves the intimacy among adults with their relationships. Any activity that is abusive or denigrates one self worth is bad. There are many ways to denigrate a persons self esteem or sense of worth. A wife who slaves over a hot stove to prepare a wonderful meal for her man, only to not even get a "thank you sweetie that was wonderful" is 100 times more deadly to ones emotional health than and consensual adult fantasy or bondage play.
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