A new person entering the lifestyle is wise to seek the counsel of a mentor or many mentors. There are so many questions to be asked and answered, it is nice to have a sounding board to go to.

A mentor is a trusted person in the community. You should ask around from a number of sources. If you have a local club or organization look and watch. See people who do things that speak to your heart. Ask about them.

You can have a formal mentor, or you can have informal mentors. Newbies often will opt for a single formal mentor, but it is wise to see the good qualities in several and go to them all for various needs.

In one sense we all have informal mentors, and we will always have those important people in our lives that we will seek out for counsel when needed. This is a good healthy thing.

Me A Mentor?

So someone approaches you about being their mentor, what do you do? First you should feel humbled and pretty honored by such a request. It is a request that is to be taken seriously.  It is suggested that you meet with this person, perhaps over dinner in a public place to get to know each other, and to find out what exactly they are seeking.

Sometimes a newbie will thing that by seeking your counsel, they are perhaps a part of your collared household, or in training to become a part of such. Be exactly clear what everyone is talking about.

Sometimes you may wish to offer simple informal mentoring. A number of experienced lifestylists do that as a matter of everyday routine.

If they wish some ongoing specific guidance, or wish to think of you as "their mentor", be very, very clear about it.

If they are seeking training, be clear that the role of a trainer is different from a mentor and would involve an entire other set of circumstances, which may include a "training contract" for a specific period of time.

Some Dominants do "training" as a profession and are expected to be compensated, but most are there out of the simple love of the community to help as called upon.

Often submissives are best mentored by other experienced submissives.

So yes, you a mentor, you may already be a role model.

How Do I Mentor?

In a general sense, just be available to talk.  Newbies often have hundreds of questions.

Specifically, you will want to share where the local support and education groups are. You probably will want to take them to their first meetings, sign them up, and introduce them around the community.

You will probably want to educate them on some basic courtesies, etiquette and protocols. What good manners are around the local dungeon. These will vary of course from one community to another.

You should point them to good resources like books & websites that are helpful

Speak with them regularly, by phone, internet, or even in person over lunch or something. Be a friend.

Remember you don't own or control your mentee, you are simply a trusted advisor and friend. Don't overstep your bounds.

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