| Safer Sex
By Master Tatu Minimizing the Risk There is no such thing as safe sex, unless we are not having sex at all. I ride a Harley. Some people think I am insane for riding a motorcycle with so much traffic. People will say that people in cars cannot see or hear the motorcyclist. They can be looking right at you and never see you. This is absolutely correct. That is why a motorcyclist, should never assume that the person in that car sees them.... NEVER ASSUME is the key concept here. The bottom line is, nothing in life is totally safe. We all take calculated risks. Without risk, no one would ever accomplish anything. To be a riskless culture, would be a dead one, no important discoveries would be made or noteworthy accomplishments gained. No pleasure would be found in life at all without risk. So I ride a motorcycle, I never assume, and I do everything I can to MINIMIZE the Risk s. That is all anyone can do. That is what we all have to do in regards to Safer Sex practices in the fantasy community... It's not a question of not taking risks, but on of doing everything possible to minimize the risks, and still have fun. The proliferation of fantasy role play or alternative sensual activities in the 90's, I am convinced is a direct result of the advent of HIV/AIDS in the 80s. We went through the sexual revolution of the 60's and 70's where 'free love" was the motto, but the 80's hit us like a ton of bricks when we realized that there is no such thing as free love, but that all love carries with it responsibility. "Sport Fucking" as I call it, or "recreation sex" as it is sometimes referred to, all of a sudden in the 80's became a deadly serious game. You could die from having sex. So people found "Fantasy Role Play", or BDSM or Fetish, or Kink, or Erotic Power Exchange as a substitute to sport fucking, and what was only practiced by a few, became almost mainstream thanks to the internet, media and Madonnna. Yet even in the fantasy play world, many have made the mistake of believing that STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) were not a real danger in the kinky community, after all isn't this supposed to be an "honorable" community, where people are treated with "respect" and we proudly wave teh SSC flag??? We don't want to believe that someone would ever put someone else intentionally at risk sexually in our lifestyle DON'T BELIEVE IT !!! There are those people out there in the name of all that is supposedly good and honorable in this community, are out for nothing but themselves and their own gain of pleasure. Truth is, there are people with HIV, or Hepatitis, or Herpes walking around our community, picking up Doms and subs in AOL chatrooms all the time. HIV is deadly and there are laws that say that one must disclose their HIV status with partners so that the relationship is consensual and safer sex practices can be used. Not doing so can lead to felony criminal prosecution and conviction. There are no laws in many places that demand the disclosure of Hepatitis or Herpes, however. Even if there were, who says people will do it? To not inform your prospective partner is, however, a serious violation of the Safe Sane Consensual creed of BDSM. To withhold that information is to place your partner in an unsafe position, it is not sane of the person to do that to someone else, it is to non-consensually expose someone else. It is understood why people are hesitant to disclose their STD status to others, for fear of being treated as an outcast or a leper. With the advent of the internet, people can be very brutal and confidentiality is simply a joke as busybodies rule the chatrooms. This is unfortunate and sad. Even more sad however is to withhold that information. One need not make an announcement to the world, nor discuss the fact that they have an STD with anyone except their potential partners. It is no one else's business. To not tell is a terrible thing
If you believe it does not happen, you are naive indeed. Recently it
was disclosed in one community that a female submissive had Hepatitis C,
and had played with a number of Dominants in the area. Now one with Hepatitis
C is not a leper, one does not contract it with casual contact, it is a blood
based and transferred virus. People say, "but we didn't actually have
intercourse". In BDSM there are often abrasions, microscopic cuts, or even
outright blood flow. All it takes with HCV is a speck of blood no bigger
than a pin head to transmit the disease to someone else. Floggers,
whips.. all toys must be treated after use before used on another whether
or not you think you may or may not have used them on someone with an STD,
because you never know. Sexual barriers like condoms must used It is not unusual that Dominants will play with a number of partners in close time frames. Often one submissive may not know about another submissive. I know this sound terrible or dishonorable or something.... doesn't matter what you think about the practice.... it happens and it happens all the time. Therefore don't be stupid. Probably one of the safer practices especially for the single searching submissive is that you the submissive owns, has control of all you own insertion toys. So if a dildo for example is used it is yours and you know it is not used with any one else. People Lie Do not think that just because you ask, that a person with an STD is going to tell you the truth. In another community, even when asked directly before the start of a relationship 6 months earlier, the person withheld the fact that she had hepatitis. It was months later that she finally revealed it, after exposing her partner, excusing her deception by saying, "you can't get it from sex". She was lying or just stupid. Either way it was a sad assumption on the part of the other partner that they were being told the truth. Another case of a very handsome Dominant that the single submissives all wanted. He had herpes, had not told, and spread it to about 5 women before anyone found out. So, so very sad indeed. We all take risks by the very nature of what we do in fantasy play. We play on the edge, and we take calculated risks. People, don't be stupid. BE SAFE, PLAY SAFE. Like riding a Harley, before you get on, make sure you are prepared to minimize the risks before you ever get on.
* * * * * * *
|
