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Education: What is it worth?

By: shevah~ April 2005


What are people willing to pay to attain knowledge and learn from others? Do we pay from our wallets or from our gratitude? Do we pay from our minds when we give our undivided attention? Do we pay from our hearts when we see an amazing display of emotions and it strikes a cord? Do we pay by giving our respect towards someone who has changed our views or skills for the better? Do we pay by acknowledging the intangible goodwill of one's soul as an asset to our community? In the end, I believe that it is not what we "give" to learn, but what we take with us in return.

It really would be wonderful if all BDSM get-togethers for educational or even social purposes were free. But that is simply not realistically possible, especially if there are expenses involved surrounding the topic.

In general, if you have joined a group or club, there is normally an annual membership fee and possibly additional fees with each party or workshop you attend. These extra fees usually run about $5 - $10.00.

If this gathering is at a private home, people are asked to bring their favorite appetizer or dessert to share and there is usually a kitty jar to donate money for the household expenses. Plates, napkins, utensils, cups, serving trays, paper towels, etc. So really, it is not free … someone has to pay. The monies either come out of the hostess's wallet, or the folks attending chip in a small donation to help with expenses. Unless this host has lots of spare money, they generally appreciate any donations contributed. And i have also witnessed when that hostess does in fact have a very good income, they eventually feel that they are being taken advantaged of because they have money and start to resent not being offered some reimbursement of expenses. It is only respectful to offer a few bucks for receiving education, fun, and a safe environment. Additionally, if there is to be a presenter who has offered their services for a class, it is only respectful and courteous to reimburse he/she for expenses for: gasoline, supplies, and handouts.

Someone recently asked me if it was worth the cost to go to XYZ event? They questioned why should we pay to see local presenters that some of us have already seen at various club events? This person asked why it was so expensive? This was a valid question and one that required some explanation on the dynamics of putting on such a successful event, one that has returned year after year.

When an event like XYZ is hosted at a hotel, there are additional fees involved. There is a charge for the use of classrooms, ballroom, tables, chairs, water/drinks/snacks, etc. You have to rent out a truck to pick up the (most likely rented) play equipment and haul it over to the site. Additionally, some hire a DJ and rent entertainment equipment for one or two nights for the festivities, and supply prizes for any contests that are planned.

Also, the event usually needs to buy a short term insurance plan for any unforeseen accidents that might occur. And let's not forget the bag of goodies one receives in their registration packet that will include a printed out schedule in a booklet with other information, some snacks, lube, condoms, and other stuff. It is easy to see how this can all add up to be quite an expense. Please be aware that not all conventions pay for the presenter's travel expenses and hotel accommodations, and certainly not for those nifty handouts & supplies. Usually only the registration fee is covered by the organizers.

What do we get in return? Where is the value?

In going to a BDSM event, the value you are receiving is for the whole experience of being under one roof of very talented presenters, pervs galore, entertainment, fellowships, interactions with other like-minded individuals, vendors selling their well-crafted goods, and a safe environment in which to escape the vanilla world for a day or two. What you are getting in return is a chance to meet real people living this lifestyle in real time. You are going to meet people brand new to this lifestyle yearning to learn as much as possible and soak up the information like a sponge. Yes, you might have seen some of these presenters at your local organization giving a 1:30 - 2:00 demo, which is great. But you are not considering that there will most likely be 12 or more presenters offering various classes, ranging from beginning to advance from which to choose. Also, the atmosphere of having another 200-400 pervs around you, having fun, learning, gabbing, enlightened, excited, and a look of astonishment as they realize that they are not alone in the community, is a sight to be seen and a feeling to be felt. It is for the future of the BDSM community that you are contributing to and its goals.

One thing to keep in mind when you see demonstrations and hear presentations; There is no ONE right way to go about performing and learning skills. It will be different for each individual; in its affects, in its meaning, its usefulness, and its intension. By sharing knowledge, you are enabling another to gain power. Knowledge is power. Knowledge is the ability to know right from wrong. Power is the ability to act on that knowledge. Therefore, power is having the ability within yourself to affect others. Though people do not need to agree with what another person does, they do need to accept they have a right to proceed, as they will (as long as it is legal and consensual). It is never wrong to question the reasons for a specific technique or action. And if, in response, you receive one of those judgmental, demeaning reactions of "who are you to question my actions"? Or "how dare you presume my inadequacies"? … Then you have encountered an arrogant person who's ego has run amuck. My advise would be to seek out other sources of information.

So, it is up to each individual to determine what you are willing to give either monetarily, mentally, physically, or emotionally, to receive knowledge. Weigh the possibilities, balance the risks, be aware of expectations, and when opportunity knocks, open the door.


shevah~

© shevah~ 4/05


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